Many of us battle the holiday blues but when you add in fertility treatments to the season’s other stresses, small things like family gatherings or other festive events can seem burdensome rather than joyful. In this month’s blog, we tackle some of the challenges you may face during the holidays and give you tips on how to make things a little less stressful.
Pick and Choose Your Events
Forget about what you “should” do. You don’t have to accept every invitation or go to every gathering. If there are events you are dreading instead of anticipating, it’s okay to say no. Be a little selfish. Now is the time to be kind to yourself and cut yourself (and your partner) a little slack. Especially during these uncertain times, limit your exposure to babies, children and pregnant women among your family or friends if it causes you pain.
It’s OK to Feel Bad During the Holidays
A lot of people get depressed during the holidays, even if they are not struggling with fertility issues. Allow yourself to feel a little down. Experts agree that allowing your grief to surface instead of pushing it down may actually free up more energy for happiness. Give yourself some quiet time. Talk with your partner about your feelings and recognize what an effort you each are making in such a challenging time.
Decide What You’re Going to Say
Be prepared to answer questions about when you are starting a family so you can handle it with less emotion. You can deflect it by saying something like “We’re working on it and hoping it’ll be soon,” then change the subject.
Gather Your Support System
Your family and friends may be a good support system for you. If you’re feeling bad, call on someone you love and trust or join a support group with other couples who are also going through similar issues. Your nurse at Coastal Fertility will also be a great source of support and information.
Treat yourselves to a special event. This can be a fun date night, an outing with friends, a massage or just go see a funny movie with your partner. Self-care during this time is extremely important and spending quality time with your partner is too.
Take a Break
Take a short break from treatment if you need to and just enjoy family and friends over the holidays.
Practice gratitude for the good things that you do have in your lives. This may be a great job, a close connection to your community, family, friends, financial stability, and a beautiful home. Try to focus on appreciation and thankfulness for the areas in your life that are going well.
Remind Yourself That Treatment is Temporary
Remember that while fertility treatment may be frustrating and emotional at times, it will not last forever. This is just a bump in the road and we are here to get you through it!